Froggy gone

Bad frog #1 has been devoured. E mailed work this morning & told them I will not be present at the meeting on Tuesday. I'm not well enough to go to Leeds for pleasure never mind a discussion about my future. Now to kiss a few toads.

Remember.

I am I can. Six things a day. Eat the bad frog first.

Ach.

Still feeling like utter poop. Coughing up horrid gunk. Breathless. Head is all over the place. Keen to remind me of failure & falling. Must focus on being present in the now. "You can't get better by feeling bitter. Bitterness is an attach ment to the past". Today I need to get dressed & sort out some money stuff. Today I will try to live in the now. Every action feels like a leap off a cliff edge. I need to acknowledge that there's just as much chance of landing in blue tropical water as there is of being dashed on jagged rocks. I'm fighting the urge to return to bed, fighting the urge to stay in this hair all day, fighting everything.

Ugh

Sick of being sick. Tired of being tired. Lame old me. Full of fever, pain & flat, flat, flat. Struggling to make calls struggling to breathe & struggling to function. Struggling not to feel utterly hopeless. Shaking like weak jelly. Need to focus & drag up some positive thoughts. Things I have done:

• I'm up.
• I'm typing.
• I'm trying.
• Called someone to get replacement cushions.
• Taking meds properly.
• Jack is getting better.
• Contacted debt management people & have some sort of plan.
• Have done loads of pictures which have been really appreciated.

Things I will do:

• Debt plan action.
• Contact work.
• Shave.
• Meditate.