initial burble

In the absence of being able to get out & about & a realisation that I have to get things out... I'm starting an outlet, an overflow, a catharsis of sorts. Writing for myself is something I've neglected. I have come to realise that myself is something I've neglected too, so this is a process of reflection, a measure of progress, evidence for myself of learning, proof of improvement. The very first step, asking for help has been the most difficult & I've been fortunate enough to be well placed to have some brilliant people around me who have been pointing me in the right direction. It's time to take the steps, to put the action in. I must do this for myself as much as to honour & thank those people. Carrying on as I have been will kill me, no doubt about that. I've been here before & the the results were almost fatal. I don't want that. 

A visit to A&E on Tuesday convinced me that asking for help is the right & correct thing to do. I admitted I can't carry on without help & was fortunate to be offered that. Following agonisingly frustrating days of rest, today I've got a little energy back. I have made soup. I have painted my nails. Having got the essentials out of the way it's time to do some more... 

The things to do are.

1. Thank the hospital, specifically the doctor.
2. Call the work helpline & ask them about help for my state of mind. I cannot risk waiting until the end of the month.
3. Make some toadstools for Jack's fairground ride.
4. Sew some trousers. 
5. Sort the laundry.

Five things. Should not take long. Will report back.